


An Opportunity Arises

by AmALoaf



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, idk ill come back to this part, thanks so much to weatheredlaw for the editing!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-13 20:44:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12992172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmALoaf/pseuds/AmALoaf
Summary: Magnus has no idea of Merle and Davenports relationship, and thanks to Taako, nobody else can stop the cycle of shenanigans it entails.





	An Opportunity Arises

“Hey  do you guys think we should set up Merle and Cap’n’port?” 

 

Barry choked on his drink and looked at Magnus like he had just sprouted a tentacle from his nostril. “Excuse me?” 

 

“Merle and Cap’n’pot. Should we like, make them go on a date or something? They clearly need to  _ bang _ .” Magnus madea... _ tasteful _ fingering motion. 

Barry could practically  _ hear  _ the gears in Taako’s head turning and tried to ignore the absolute glee radiating off his body as he triedhis best to warn Magnus. “Mag-”

 

“ _ That _ sounds like a spectacular idea, Maggie!” Taako slapped his hand, rather violently over Barry’s mouth. “Isn’t that just a fantastical idea, Barold? Couldn’t have thought better myself!” Taako tapped his chin, pretending to think. “Yknow I think this calls for a team meeting. Me and four-eyes here will get the rest of the squad together. Why don’t you go lay out some snacks, Mags?” 

 

Magnus grinned, starry eyed from the praise, and ran off. Taako removed his now very moist hand from Barry’s mouth and gave him a questioning look as he wiped it on the offenders jeans. “What the hell, my dude?” 

 

“Don’t you ‘what the hell’ me, Taako. I’m not the chaos child in this situation and you know it!” Barry hissed back, “What good could possibly come from setting up two people who are already dating?” He grabbed Taako’s wrist, which was still hovering next to his cheek, “What could you possibly  _ gain _ ?” 

 

Taako grinned briefly, sharp canines glistening under the Starblaster’s fluorescent lighting, before standing up and leading a poor confused Barry down the hall to Lucretia's room. He rapped on the door lightly and heard a muffled voice permitting entry. Inside, Lucretia was on the floor rewriting journal entries and organizing sketches by their dated cycles. The floor was littered with beautiful drawings of the crew in various settings, as well as several dozen studies of local flora and fauna. It would have been quite a sight if both the boys hadn’t seen her in this position countless times before. “How’s it hangin, Lucy?” Taako drawled, stretching out the final syllable far too long to be casual. Lucretia permitted them a suspicious glance before returning to her work.   

 

“What do you want, Taako?” she asked, sorting a pile of pictures from the beach planet. Barry caught a glimpse of Merle with a hibiscus in his hair and another of Magnus throwing Lup into the ocean. 

 

“Well it just so happens I need a certain chronicler, we’re having a family meeting.” Lucretia moved some pages of writing labeled ‘Cycle: 2’ onto a leather journal.  

 

“Did Davenport send you?” she asked while thumbing through a journal of nothing but sketches. She reached down and picked up a drawing of Magnus, tucking it between some of the pages. A whole journal of nothing but pictures gets thumbed through for  a moment before a picture of Magnus holding several puppies gets tucked into the pages. Upon closer inspection, Barry realized the entire book was pages and pages of drawings from PuppyTown. 

“No, my dear sweet Lucy, he did not. This meeting is for the youths this time around, no adults allowed. Limited access.” He stretched out his hand, “First class seating for my favorite little novelist.” Lucretia’s eyes traveled up Taako’s arm before darting to glance at Barry, who shook his head as Taako motioned with his hand more forcefully. “Come on Lucretia,, limited seating on the Taako train and this caboose is leaving the station.” Lucretia sighed and placed her hand in Taako’s. He pulled her to her feet, careful to not step on the papers surrounding them as he led them to the kitchen. 

 

***

They all lounged around the coffee table, a bowl of cookie dough (with several spoons in it) and two plates of jerkey spread before them. Taako told Lup to remind him never to let Magnus in the kitchen again. He sent Magnus out to make sure Davenport and Merle weren’t going to interrupt them before addressing his three other crewmates, waiting until he was out of earshot before speaking. 

 

“So ladies, and gentleman, I have come across what I can only describe as the opportunity of a lifetime,” Taako began, his voice airy, “Our dear, sweet, human fighter, Magnus Burnsides, has recently, and foolishly, revealed to me in passing that he has  _ no _ idea that our two most senior officers are fucking each others brains out.” He clapped his hands together, pausing to take in the various facial expressions around the room. “This presents us more perceptive crew members an interesting opportunity. I believe it is in not only our best interest to go along with Maggie’s ignorance, but to play  _ deeply _ into it.”

 

“I don't like that at all.” Lucretia said, furrowing her brow. 

 

Lup grinned and leaned back so her head was in Lucrecia's lap, “The proposition or Taako’s weirdly  _ erotic _ wording?” 

 

“Both.” 

 

Lup snickered and nudged her brother with the tip of her boot. “So, what, you woke me from my afternoon nap to tell me that we gotta keep our spaceship dads on the downlow? Thats bullshit and you know it. What do you really want out of us? Gimme that  _ interesting opportunity _ .” Unfortunately, that was the moment Magnus slid into the room (Davenport insisted the floor stay relatively polished on good cycles), and Lup was forced to shut her mouth. 

 

“Hey guys.” Magnus took a seat next to Barry. “Is Takko filling you in on my genius?” 

 

Taako rolled his eyes, “Don’t flatter yourself. You’d have to be a total dumbass not to see the captain and Merle’s connection.” He conjured a pen and gently snatched Lucretia’s journal out of her lap. “But I do need to fill them in. Give me a few.” 

 

While Taako scribbled furiously in the notebook, the crew managed to finish off the entire bowl of cookie dough (“Heathens,” Taako muttered under his breath). They were going for the second bowl in the fridge when Taako gave a shout of joy and tore the page from the journal (Lucretia cringed. “The  _ spines! _ ”). Everyone crowded around, laying on Taako in various positions. 

“Ok fuckmothers, here’s the plan-“


End file.
